Tuesday, February 17, 2009

HOW WRONG PRACTICES OF PARENTS, MAKE THE GUIDANCE COUNSELLOR’S WORK IN SCHOOL DIFFICULT.

INTRODUCTION

According to McDaniels & Hummel, (1984) Authorities in psychology and career development believe that parents are the most essential factor in the formation of children's personalities and self-concept, and that career choices can be regarded as the "implementation" of these qualities.
The first social experiences of a child are provided by the family. The parents and others within the family provide the models for the child to follow, Hopson and Hayes, (1972). It is a well know fact that parent’s hold on their children far exceeds any other segment of the society. No matter how well a school takes care of its student, parents remain the cardinal point or the most important factor in the life of their children. According to Oladele, J.O (2000) there is irrefutable evidence that parents are the strongest influence on their children’s choice of career, and by proxy, every other aspect of development, and life of their children.
On the other hand, Counsellors are the students advocate; a student’s personal development and fulfillment are a counsellor’s main concern. That said, the parent, the teacher and the counsellor have a common goal as far as the welfare and development of the children are concerned, Iwuama, (1991). They are very interested in and anxious about the wholesome development of their children-mentally, physically, emotionally, socially and morally, Iwuama, (1991). In their bid to protect or manage the interest of their children the parents over-reach themselves by doing things that discourage, downgrade and affect the cousellors work negatively. In this paper we shall look at some of these practices that parents does that hinder the work of the counsellor.

CONCEPT
The parent is a member of a family. It is a person’s father or mother. Super, (1963) describes the family as a social, psychological, and economic entity. It is a social entity because it contains a group of people who function as a unit. It is psychological entity because each one of its members has needs, feelings, and attitudes which are of importance to themselves and to the family and it is an economic because it provides a means of direction for their children.
A school counselor is a person who is specially trained to help students realize their full potential as unique individuals. Ikeotuonye, (1984) describes a counselor as an expert in psychological education and quoted Shertzer and Stone as saying that counsellor is responsible for developing and implementing learning processes designed to facilitate self development.
They are available to help students make decisions, and provide an atmosphere to discuss personal feelings and explore alternatives. They help the student to learn about herself and develop a positive self-concept. Another way a counselor helps students is through referral. If they are unable to help in a particular situation, they will refer students to someone who can.
A counselor makes every effort to be non-judgmental, and to create an atmosphere where students can grow and develop in positive ways.
In other words, when the pressures of life, such as selecting subjects, looking for a career, or just needing someone to talk to, the first line of defense is a school counselor.
According to Iwuama, (1991) Two major factors, influence the level of which parent and counsellor work together;
(1) The socio-economic level of the parent or the community.
(2) The nature of the family or community.

Most parents in the rural areas are illiterate persons of low socio-economic level and may not value the services of a counsellor in the school. They are more disposed to leaving the education of their children completely in the hands of the school, resulting in less parent-counsellor relationship. Iwuama, (1991) Also attitude to education vary with ethnic group, religion and socio-economic status. Hopson and Hayes, (1987)
In an urban area, it is not the same because of high level of education and awareness. Parents tend to play more roles in the children education and wellbeing. Oladele, J. o. (2000) and Iwuama, (1991)

WRONG PRACTICES OF PARENTS
1. Career Choice
Career choice is one area where parent’s hold on their children is phenomenal. Choosing a course of study can be a Herculean task with the interference of a parent which has a predetermined plan of what the child will do or become. It can also be an obstacle to vocational choice of the students, and to the overall guidance services provided by the counsellor and the school. On the parents part, Oladele, (2000) enthused that it is a case of who plays the piper calling the tune.
Some parents may not understand the value of education or even career planning of their children thereby posing a hindrance, others have inappropriate ambitions for their child. They fail to take into consideration the abilities; attitudes and interest of their child so do not support realistic educational and career plans of their children in conjunction with their teachers and career officers.

Factors influencing parents wrong practices in career choice
Religion:
Some religion are not comfortable with certain vocations, Stetler, (1951) and Lanski, (1961)And so parents try to discourage their children from taking up such vocations even if they liked and will do well in them. A case of a man who wanted his son to read Islamic Religious Knowledge (IRK) instead of medicine irrespective of the fact that the child likes medicine and is an exceptional science student.

Prestige or Ego:
Some parents out of their ego, personal gains and what people will say push their children into vocations irrespective of what the counsellor might think or say.

Family history
Some families have a history of a particular vocation in some, the first born must carry on the family tradition of that particular vocation for instance Rotimi Williams is a family of lawyers, Dafinone made the Guinness book of records as a family that all the members are accountants. So coming from such a family one might be forced to practice the family profession.

Ethnic group
Some ethnic groups are known for a particular vocation this determine the attitude of some parents to career choice of their children irrespective of a child’s learning and a counsellor’s talk. Stetler, (1951) Generally, it can not be overemphasized that for children to enter the right vocation, parents should not impose their own wish on the decision facing their children Oladele, (2000) Hurley D. and Thorp J. (2002)

2. Advice
If the school informs the parent about a matter, they will advice their children better since children normally turn to their parents for advice. Uninformed parents may offer poor guidance and this is not good since their advice tends to appear better to them than other people advice.
Moreover, parents determine the way advice is used. If the parent encourage the child to use an advice it will be used otherwise it will not be used.

3. Attitudes towards examination and qualifications

Parent’s attitude towards examination and qualification plays a part in enhancing the child’s performance. Oladele, (2000) said that if parents regard them as irrelevant, their child’s success will be limited. Some parents hardly have time to assist in doing their children’s home work or even allow attend tutorials for those taking external examinations.
On the other hand, too much pressure and anxiety can have the same effect, for instance some parents reduce the child to a nervous wreck by saying, ‘if you don’t pass your exam you are a failure’ some go to the extent of bribing teachers so their children to pass exams. There is need for a thorough but stress-free approach to passing exams.

4. Supporting Guidance Programme in the school
Parents are supposed to support guidance programme in the school both morally and financially. They could contribute toward the organisation of career seminar, day, or week. Iwuama, (1991) Most parents do no know the services provided by Guidance Counsellors and so do not support them. They also do not use their experience of what is going on in the society to help in the development of Guidance services.

5. Lack of time
The change that has occurred in the family where both parents are always out in pursuit of daily wages due to the state of our economy, and the present world economic meltdown, most children don’t get to see their parent neither spends time with them to be counselled at home. According to Iwuama, (1991) parents should provide counselling at home, they should give vocational, educational, emotional and social informational service to their children. Nevertheless, some parents do not have the time, nor have the information to give thereby leaving everything entirely in the hand of the counsellors. Hurley & Thorp (2002

6. ROLE MODELS
According to Iwuama, (1991) parents are supposed to serve as role models, but some parents are not. Some parents are involved in substance abuse, cultism, violence, cheating and other social vices, so influencing their children negatively. The re-enforcements they need at home for good behaviour is lacking thereby ruining all the effort of the counsellor who might be interested in correcting a deviant behaviour.

7. Teenage pregnancy
In some traditions girls are expected to give birth to a child or two before marriage, these encourages a child to be promiscuous no matter what the Counsellor says or advices, chances are that the child will be a teenage parent.
8. Provision of Necessities
When a child do not have the basic necessities such as text books, money, uniform, reading table, food, shelter and clothing how can he or she function well? Some parents fall short of leaving their children bare which will hamper the objective of counselling which is relieving the students of stress. Iwuama, (1991)
9. Discipline
The word discipline, which comes from the root word disciplinare—to teach or instruct—refers to the system of teaching and nurturing that prepares children to achieve competence, self-control, self-direction, and caring for others. Howard, B.J. (1996) Some parents do not discipline their child while others discipline excessively. Though spanking remains the main component of correction to deviant behaviour in Nigeria, American Academy of Pediatrics and counsellors recommends that parents be encouraged and assisted in the development of methods other than spanking for managing undesired behaviour. Larzelere, R.E (1996) Spanking is no more effective as a long-term strategy than other approaches, Roberts and Powers (1990) and reliance on spanking as a discipline approach makes other discipline strategies less effective to use. Wilson and Lyman (1982)
Some of other methods are listed below;
1. Time-Out or Removal of Privileges
2. Promoting Optimal Parent-Child Relationships and Reinforcing Positive Behaviors
3. Rewarding Desirable or Effective Behaviors

SUGGESTED WAYS TO IMPROVE PARENT’S ATTITUDE

· Constant consultation, meetings should exist between the counsellor and the parents. Circulation of a guide to the objectives and a description of the career program in the school should be carried out. Hopson and Hayes (1987) opined this because, however nice a school’s career programme is, it cannot succeed without the full co-operation of the Parent.
· Parents should be made to understand the implication of a wrong attitude to their children’s self actualization. A parent should have his / her mind reconstructed through conferences and meetings. Through these avenues they will understand that the ultimate is not prestige, money or power but job satisfaction and personal fulfillment for their children which stems from putting a child where his ability, aptitudes and interest lies. With these positive attitudes, they can also influence their children to have positive attitude to career choice.
· Parents should be encouraged to have a positive attitude towards exams and qualifications. They should know it’s not a do or die thing. They should not reduce the child to a nervous wreck or offer bribe.
· Because of the negative consequences of spanking and because it has been demonstrated to be no more effective than other approaches for managing undesired behavior in children, parents are encouraged to use methods other than spanking in response to undesired behavior.

Conclusion
The wrong practices of parents that make the counsellors work difficult can be reduced if not completely stopped. This is because most parent want the best for their child and therefore if made to understand the implications of there negative practices would want to do anything to help the progress of their child. Therefore, concerted efforts on all the people involved should be made through conferences, meetings, papers and other means of constant contact with the parents.


REFERENCES
Hopson, B. and Hayes, J. (1972) Careers Guidance: The role of school in vocational Development. Heinemann Educational Books Ltd., London
Howard B.J. (1996) Advising parents on discipline: what works? Pediatrics. 98:809-815
Hurley D. and Thorp J. (2002) Career Guidance and Decision-Making Among American Youths. Ferris State Univ, Career Institute for Education and Workforce devt.
Ikeotuonye, A.I. (1984) Guidance for schools: An Introduction. Hudahuda publishing company, Zaria
Iwuama, B.C. (1991) Foundations of Guidance and Counselling Emba Printing and Publishing Co.Ltd. Osha
Larzelere R.E. (1996) A review of the outcomes of parental use of nonabusive or customary physical punishment. Pediatrics. 824-828
Oladele, J.O. (2000) Guidance and Counselling a functional approach Johns-Lad Publishers, Lagos
McDaniels, C. and D. Hummel. (1984) Parents and Career Education Journal Of Career Education 10(4) 225-233.
Roberts M.W. and Powers S.W. (1990) Adjusting chair time-out enforcement procedures for oppositional children. Behav Ther. 21:257-271
Wilson D.R, Lyman R.D. (1982) Time-out in the treatment of childhood behavior problems: implementation and research issues. Child Family Behav Ther. 4:5-20

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